Death of professional courtesy

I sometimes wonder if it’s just me or is it the death of professional courtesy

I was brought up in the days when courtesy in private and professional life was de rigueur. Sadly, those days seem long gone – particularly at ‘the top’.

Here are just a few classic illustrations of this, though the names have been changed to protect both the innocent and not-so-innocent.

• Terri was a loyal and long-serving secretary and executive assistant. She was asked to work with a newly appointed Head of IT who was unfortunate enough to be off sick for two days shortly after his arrival.

On the morning of his return, she politely inquired:
“I hope you’re feeling better now and it was nothing too serious”.
What was the response of ‘Mr Personality of the Year’?
“What’s it got to do with you? Mind your own business!”
So, that was her motivation and morale sent soaring.

• Adele was also another high-calibre EA, working for the CFO. One day a stranger walked into the office suite and said to her, “Hi, I’m Frank Morris”. The dialogue deteriorated rapidly into farce:

“Yes Mr. Morris, what can I do for you?”
“You can show me to my office”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You’re my EA, so I need you to show me around then take me to the Chief Executive’s office”
“I’m sorry but I don’t know what you mean or who you are. Who are you here to see?”
Cue a deep sigh and exasperated expression.
“I’m your boss, the new CFO. Looks like you haven’t read the memo”.
“We have a CFO”.
“I suggest you get your act together – call Mark Hastings (the CEO)”
“but – he’s just left on vacation for five days”.
“Then I’m going home until you resolve this shambles. Call me when you’ve sorted it out – your job might depend upon it”.

The charmer then stormed out in a huff. After two days of frantic phoning around, the CEO was tracked down. It transpired that he’d unilaterally and secretly decided to bring in a new CFO but hadn’t bothered to tell any of his board colleagues, HR, Adele or even worse, the existing CFO!

Couldn’t possibly happen? You might laugh but this is based on real events!

• Malik is a team leader – it doesn’t really matter what in. He was based in an office about 2 hours’ drive away from the corporate HQ. His executive boss insisted upon a fortnightly face-to-face progress review. OK, a little bit inconvenient and unnecessary in the 21st century but perhaps fair enough.

He’d arrived for no less than 3 consecutive progress meetings with his boss over a 6 week period, all booked through the exec’s secretary, only to find the guy wasn’t there. No pre-warning, no phone call, just an embarrassed secretary saying that she couldn’t find her boss and he must be tied up in something important.

Malik had tried many times to call his boss but had only been able to reach the secretary leaving multiple messages. He’d submitted his fortnightly progress reports by email, stressing he was available to come for a meeting at any time.

After 8 weeks and on the fourth attempt, he arrived to find his boss present and was then treated to a 15-minute rant about his “poor communication skills” and his failure to meet the requirements of the job in terms of keeping his exec informed of what was going on.

In vain did Malik point out he’d issued progress summaries by email and indicated, with evidence supported by the secretary, that he’d turned up three times for pre-booked meetings. The response was?

“I’m too busy to read emails and I’m not interested in excuses and spurious facts. My perception is that you’re not keeping me informed and that’s all that counts. You need to correct with that perception if you want to keep your job”.

Needless to say, Malik didn’t wait for another such episode – he quit within a few days and took his highly-marketable skills with him.

In fact, many people in business will tell you that rudeness and arrogance is on the increase and common courtesy diminishing. So, what’s going on here?

The problem is that our talent-recognition today confuses drive and dynamism with arrogance, aggression, rudeness and a blatant disrespect for others. Although there have been several attempts since the 1960s and 1970s to move away from this model of corporate culture, the reality is that most businesses continue to perpetuate it.

Now most organizations, in their published mission statements and people development pamphlets (which are widely ignored immediately after printing) will distance themselves from such behaviors. They’ll talk a lot about consensus, teamwork, developing diverse people skills and “we’re all in this together”.

Yet those same organizations continue to reward through advancement, individuals that display appalling characteristics such as those outlined above. While companies regard the problems caused for others by such behaviors to be an acceptable form of ‘collateral damage’ in order to maintain a huge ego, then nothing will change.

21st century management directives are indeed the death of professional courtesy